Dads and the New Reality

I’ve said it before, it’s an awful time.

“Lockdown”, “Furlough”, “Self Isolation”

Relationships are under pressure like never before - stress, worry and physical confinement are a heady cocktail of ingredients for relationship trauma.

But, it WILL get better and dads will have a massive opportunity.

Dads do more At Home

With so many dads spending a lot more time at home, physically away from the regular work environment, we're in the midst of a massive upheaval and redefinition of who does what around the home.

and this includes parenting...

An Institute for Fiscal Studies report this week included this evidence

During lockdown fathers have nearly doubled the time they spend on childcare. On average, fathers are now doing some childcare during 8 hours of the day, compared with 4 hours in 2014/15.

This increase is especially large for the 15% of fathers in previously dual-earner households who have lost their job while their partner continues to do paid work. This large increase in fathers’ involvement in childcare might have long-lasting impacts on how couples share childcare responsibilities.

seeing the benefits

“My job has never allowed me so much free time. Being forced to work from home, I have been able to spent precious time with my little girl who is 5 months old.”

“Loved being able to WFH full time... we have a six month old now so I get to see him during the day a bit, feed him lunch, always have bath time at 5.30pm... it’s been a positive in an otherwise pretty weird / horrid time.”

The assumptions that remote working can’t work have been massively undermined, a client told me this week that the main blocker to remote working in his business has had a complete U-turn since the the pandemic started.

the start of a brave new world?

This can be the opportunity for men to fix their work life balance once and for all and to be the hands on, active and involved fathers many don’t remember growing up.

If the virus has taught us one thing, it’s that many people don’t HAVE to be in the office to do their jobs. Technology and a can do attitude are powerful tools to create a new way of working.

The Challenge of returning to the workplace

It’s tricky from many angles - health and safety, social distancing in the office and on the commute and a lack of childcare options.

Here are my 3 quick tips for businesses with working dads.

Childcare Assumptions

• Don’t tell men to return to the workplace without considering they might also have childcare responsibilities. It’s discriminatory and lazy.

• Don’t leave women on furlough because you assume they are responsible for childcare. It’s discriminatory and lazy.

Fear

• Understand that now, more than, ever men face the fear of losing their jobs if they don’t follow instructions of their business.

• This fear will trump any desire to maintain the benefits of working from home.

Conflict

• With childcare and schooling options still limited, the pressure on parents to share the load and balance domestic responsibilities is still at an all time high.

• Forcing working dads to return to the workplace will create domestic conflict

Longer term

1) Give men well paid parental leave so that they have the time and financial security to experience hands on, solo parenting.

2) Provide paternity return to work coaching to mirror the maternity offer.

3) Create male leadership models who demonstrate and support active, involved fatherhood. Part time working, flexible hours, working from home. Model it and make it ok.