Looking back - Lockdown Dads Season 3

Looking Back at Lockdown Dads Season 3

We look back at the guests, the stories and the tips that caught our eye since January.

Contents

00:30 Weathermen, Ian’s course development, Covid scare at school and Couch to 5k

03:00 James finally gets physio on his back

05:15 Working from home with kids around

06:30 The return to office life and the Goldman Sachs way of working

09:00 Are the government actually consulting on flexible working rights?

11:00 Linking working patterns to gender equality

12:00 Home-school since January

14:00 The novelty wearing off for Dads?

15:00 We discuss John Adams and Dr Jasmine Kelland LinkedIn Live - Parents in the Pandemic

17:25 Stand out moments with Nathan McGurl, Dan Stanley and Will Champion

19:00 Lessons from Coldplay, Wise Brian Ballantyne, Practical tips from Louise Goss and Rhian Mannings’ story

21:00 Planning the summer season

22:00 Joining the dots between sexual violence and equality in the home

28:30 Looking back at the season tips

31:30 This Week’s Tips

• Read Rob Parsons - The Heart of Success

• Open Easter eggs with your head (and why not?!)

The Revolution? Hybrid Working And The Productivity Challenge.

The Revolution? Hybrid working and the Productivity Challenge.

In 2019, former naval officer, James Edmondson, wrote a piece for The Homeworker magazine, a publication dedicated to “helping you thrive and achieve a happier, healthier, more productive lifestyle when you work from home.”

It was called:

“Joining the Revolution”

It was a frank piece about his worry and stress about how "working from home” was perceived and his own personal bias from a 20 year career in the Royal Navy:

“The concept of working from home was alien to me; in my mind it was something writers or artists might do”

The anxiety about what other people might think is beautifully illustrated by the sense of over compensating

“To over compensate for this and the overall feeling that I was ‘working from home’, I started sending people in the office pointless emails and Lync messages.

In my mind, the conversations would go like this: “Where’s James?” “Oh, he’s working from home today, but I saw that he’d logged on at 8 am and I’ve already seen a bunch of emails from him.” “Great, so he’s actually working.” “

A sense of relief to have survived “Working. From. Home”

“The feeling of utter relief when the clock struck 5 was palpable; I had made it through the day without anyone phoning up asking me where I was or why I wasn’t at my desk. It was relief that I hadn’t been accused of: “Working. From. Home”.”

Anxiety, productivity and foresight

“I hadn’t enjoyed the experience one bit, and in fact the chronic low-level anxiety that resided inside of me throughout the day was awful. Yet, I had been incredibly productive, completing some important work, work that had I had been in my office would probably have taken me three or four days to do.

Having the option to work from home in a flexible manner that allows a workforce to fit work around their busy lives is a game-changer and something I believe the working world must embrace as widely as possible.”

You can access the full interview here in issue 5, “2020 Vision” https://www.thehomeworker.com/back-issues

James reflects on home working in a pandemic

Now in early 2021, I went back to James and asked him how things had changed.

Not ideal

“Since writing my article for The Homeworker at the end of 2019, Covid-19 and the move to a larger house has shifted my perspectives again on working from home. The pandemic forced many of us to work from home almost overnight. The anxiety that I used to feel about working from home now seems absurd. Working from home now feels completely normal, though, in its current format, not ideal.

The Positives

For me the positives about working from home remain unchanged from my original article. The lack of commute, more family time, more time to spend focused on deep work and lots of money saved on not buying coffee are brilliant aspects to this way of working. The only big difference for me is around productivity.

Challenges around productivity and interaction

I am very conscious of those missed spontaneous and chance interactions that I would have in the office. Those touch points generated so many ideas, fostered collaboration and ultimately drove my productivity. Forced to work almost exclusively from home I get too much time to myself. Zoom calls are not the same, they are not chance encounters or spontaneous. It is this that I believe is the hidden cost around productivity.

Mental health issues

Culturally, my organisation is beginning to observe worrying second and third order affects of the changed way of working. Many of my colleagues are struggling through lack of contact and support that the office environment fostered. Whilst out in the field, we are seeing people taking time off work through mental health issues. They often cite the lack of contact from managers as the principal cause of their problem.

Optimism for a hybrid future

I am, however, optimistic for the future. For those of us who can work either from home or the office I expect our working practices to adopt a hybrid model. I can see me rarely having 5 days in office in a row. Instead, I expect I will work 2 days in the office, 2 days at home and 1 day out and about visiting / talking to people. From a work perspective that would be an excellent outcome to this dreadful crisis.”

What can we learn from James’ experience?

Covid-19 has been tough on parents, with the burden of domestic and childcare responsibilities falling more heavily on mums but with research from the Office for National Statistics finding that the number of hours men were spending on childcare increased by an average of 58% during the first lockdown. While Daddilife found a post-lockdown desire to be more heavily involved at home with more quality family time (32%) first, followed by more flexible (25%) and remote (19%) working.

One of the obvious upsides to the pandemic has been a cultural shift around perceptions about men who work flexibly and remotely. Not only the perceptions and understanding of those who do it, but also men’s own perception and sense of job risk for not being anything other than fully committed to work.

Without doubt, pandemic work patterns have not been ideal, but the benefits that men like James have experienced, point to a brighter future with more choice as to how and where to work and less stigma attached to men who seek to create better balance for themselves and their families and to be the active and involved fathers they may not remember growing up.

de-gendering and de-stigmatising

Finally some important words from Molly Johnson-Jones, at Flexa Careers interviewed in The Homeworker Blog

The past year has also shifted attitudes towards flexible working. With more men experiencing flexible working, the term has become “less gendered” according to . “Men now want flexible working almost as much as women (68% vs 74%) and are just as likely to ask for it as women (55% would ask for flexible working).

“In addition, some of the stigma around flexible working has started to shift. It’s no longer seen as ‘shirking from home’, or at least not by the majority of the population. By simultaneously de-gendering and de-stigmatising the term ‘flexible work’ we remove the negative connotations of women in the workplace – that we are less committed or productive because of our circumstances.”

“Men now want flexible working almost as much as women”

Flexible working is 'Just as important to men'

Flexible Working is ‘just as important to men’

An article on the business part of the BBC website caught my eye…

"Senior jobs with flexible hours 'get 20% more female applicants"

First thought, awesome.

Second thought, I wonder if there’s anything about men? Because I know men want flexible working too.

Hidden away (a bit too much for my liking) was reference to men - “just as important for men”

Argggh, come on BBC I thought! This is a really important angle - the angle that would make a world of difference to gender equality to the workplace.

So I opened Linkedin and penned this 1300 character post that has got a lot of comments, interaction and views. Click here to join in the conversation.

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POLITE REQUEST

Please can we stop framing flexible working as a female "thing". The world and his dog knows that women have more caring responsibilities, but until we talk about it being a man thing too, we are doomed to pigeon hole genders into cages called caring and breadwinning.

These cages are traps - traps that keep women from achieving their potential in the workplace and men from being the active and involved fathers they don't remember growing up.

We need to release that canary.

BBC Business News article today "Senior jobs with flexible hours 'get 20% more female applicants"

My first thought, well yeah, obviously.

Knowing how hard men find it to ask for flex and part time work - society deem them not to "need" it, fear of being seen as "uncommitted", perceived optionality etc I wondered if there was anything about men.

Yes - the real story -'Just as important to men'

"The study... found many more men also applied for roles when they offered flexible working options, suggesting the issue was "just as important" for them."

This the truly groundbreaking stuff - pre covid!

Men want flexible working and enabling that desire is a key aspect of gender equality at home and at work.

#flexforall #inspiringdads #workingdads

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New title, same story?

The eagle eyed among you will have notice the article title is now different. I was also intrigued that the title of the piece changed twice… from

"Senior jobs with flexible hours 'get 20% more female applicants" to

“Flexible working helps with mum guilt' to

“It’s really hard to progress when working part-time”

Thankfully the BBC dropped the “mum guilt” angle quickly <facepalm>

A great story of increased female recruitment into Senior roles

Now despite my little rant, it’s worth noting that it’s a really good story about Zurich creatively increasing female recuitment into senior roles. As John Adams at DadBlogUk explains

“For Zurich to have increased female recruit in senior roles is brilliant. To have increased the number of women working flexibly in senior roles is better still. To have male and female senior managers working flexibly and encouraging other staff to do the same, that’s Zurich’s real success. I hope other employers will follow suit.”

I just wish the man angle had been explored in greater (any) depth.

and I’m not alone as the 100+ comments illustrate

“Totally agree and I thought the same thing when I read the article this morning. The policy is gender neutral so why can't our thinking be the same?”

“Such an important narrative. I also feel until men are encouraged to take flex working and shared parental leave, women will never truly be able to move forward from this feeling of asking for special treatment, feeling conflicted and that their careers may suffer if they move to flex etc. Flex for all is the only way to truly achieve a sense of equality.”

“Totally agree. From my experience coaching men in organisations, it’s much more difficult for them to ask for flexible working than it is for women. And understandably as they’re more likely to be judged as no longer engaged in their careers. Headlines like this do not help.”

Of course we aren’t JUST talking about flexible working for caring reasons. There are lots of reasons why people want flexible working patterns and all are important. I’m very keen on the idea of #Flexforall.

What did Zurich do?

In addition to using gender neutral language, each job advert between March 2019 and Feb 2020 stated the roles were available as:

“Part-time, flexible hours, job share.”

The outcome

• “Since changing its policy on job adverts, the number of women hired for top roles has risen by 33%”

• “20% more likely to apply for senior roles if they offer flexible hours.”

In conclusion, great story - but let’s also keep telling all the stories, in particular the one that shines a light on what men want and stops flexible working from being seen a female only desire. Because that doesn’t help anyone!

Click the button to join the conversation on LinkedIn

Photo Credit: Eric Ayon via Unsplash @ericayon10

Will dads continue to engage with flexible working post-Covid 19?

Will Dads Continue to engage with flexible working post-covid-19?

In this 2 parter written for Parent and Professional I look at working dads and flexible working post Covid 19.

I start with “why does “business” need dads to continue to be engaged in flexible working?”, considering the gender pay gap and mental health.

Then I get onto meaty topics such as

• How do dads engage with flexible working?

• What do men want?

• What gets in the way of dads’ accessing flexible working?

• What can we do to support dads’ access to flexible working?

• 5 key long-term steps to support flexible working for dads 

You can Read the articles here:

https://www.parentandprofessional.co.uk/will-dads-continue-to-engage-with-flexible-working-post-covid-19-part-one/

https://www.parentandprofessional.co.uk/will-dads-engage-with-flexible-working-opportunities-post-covid-part-two/

Photo credit - Jonas Kakaroto @jkakaroto on Unsplash

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly of Men’s Flexible Working

The Good, The Bad And The Ugly Of Men’s Flexible Working

As we get ready to mark Father’s Day, it worth reflecting on what dads really want.

We know a lie in would be good, socks even better and maybe a novelty selection of real ales. But in terms of the workplace, dads just want to have options. Options about how to organise their working lives, without being told that they can’t raise their children or that being a committed dad means you can’t be committed to work.

A New Generation of Dads

A whole new generation of men want to be much more actively involved in raising their children. They expect equality in the workplace and at home and they are frustrated when their needs and the needs of their families can’t be met.

In short they want to be great dads and have great careers.

GQ magazine found that the number 1 aspect of modern masculinity, identified by 66% of Men was “being a present father”.

 Source: GQ Magazine

But it can be tough when this desire to be an active present father is dismissed or not taken seriously…

“Hi fellas. I joined this group recently because it’s really important to me to be massively engaged in my children’s lives for as long as their childhoods last. At the same time, I want to make progress in my career.

That balance can be hard, especially when so many people perceive caring fathers as uncommitted to their jobs.”

Source: Inspiring Dads Facebook Group

Dads are changing jobs to get what they want.

Daddilife and Deliotte Report - THE MILLENNIAL DAD AT WORK

https://www.daddilife.com/the-millennial-dad-at-work/

Not all men or families are the same.

Income and childcare priorities change and for many heterosexual couples the certainty of a man being fully committed to his career, while a female partner takes on the majority of the childcare can give great comfort and certainty.

However we do an enormous disservice to society, the workplace and individuals when we assume that men don’t want to be fully involved as parents. That attitude is no more valid or helpful than assuming that women only want to stay at home and look after children.

Choices!

We need to allow couples to make genuine choices - both for their own benefit and for benefits of building gender diverse workplaces.

When we cannot tell whether a man or a woman is more likely to take parental leave or seek flexible working, gender ceases to be an issue in hiring and promotion decisions.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

As a man access to flexible work can be difficult to achieve. It can be seen as a perk of seniority or as something that solves a female childcare ‘issue’.

72% feared their employer’s reaction if they asked for flexible working.

Source: Workingdads.co.uk

But when it works well the benefits to the man, the family and their partner are clear to see as the ‘Good’ story of Susha and Magnus and will show. The example of the ‘Bad’ show how a lack of flexibility for Dads will cost businesses their talent and the motivation and good will of their staff. Finally the ‘Ugly’ shines a light on the type of casual dismissive bias that one man faced trying to access part time work. It shows how an attitudes towards men’s flexible and part time working desires can directly and negatively effect women’s aspirations.

Things will change but this Father’s Day we need to think about the next generation of Father’s Day.

“The current crop of male, mid-fifties business leaders are completely out of touch in respect to the changes to the role of the father that have taken place in the two decades since they were young dads.”

Source: Evening Standard

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The Good - Susha and Magnus

Susha Chandrasekhar is a Senior Lawyer at the Department for Business.

Her husband is Dr Magnus Ryner, Professor of International Political Economy and Head of the Department of European & International Studies at Kings College, London

Their son is called Axel.

Susha kindly shared their story…

Flexibility for dads helps mums

“I am a lawyer working part-time which is demanding since my responsibilities include EU issues. Fortunately, my husband’s (more than) full-time work can be carried out flexibly. He comes into and leaves the office at different times, works from home, and catches up on things in the evenings on the days he does the school pick-up. My husband is an academic which helps but professors have to teach, attend meetings, supervise students, undertake research etc. which require a physical presence in the office or a library. It’s still a juggling act.”

Here are the top 7 ways in which my husband’s flexible pattern improves my life.

1. Morning mayhem

My husband does the morning shift and the school run. That pressure is off me as soon as I wake up which is always a good start. I do the evening routine of bath-book-bed.

2. School pick-up

My husband does two school pick-ups a week so there are least two days on which:

·         I do not have to rush home and can deal with last minute work emergencies;

·         My husband helps our son with his reading and maths homework; and

·         There is dinner on the table for me when I come through the front door.

The other 3 weekdays on which I do the pick-ups, my husband gets these benefits in return.

3. Dealing with illness

Ian’s note

This is sometimes forgotten - flexible working is about care giving in many different circumstances and sometime none - flexible working should be for all.

It is not the default position that I drop everything and deal with a sick child. We see whose schedule is the more flexible. Sometimes it’s his.

4. Caring for Grandparents

There comes a time when our own parents need care. I value the chance to do this.

5. Finances

As we do the childcare ourselves, we do not need to employ a nanny which is expensive.

6. Reliability

If my husband says he will do something, he has the flexibility to do it. I feel assured it will be done without having to check up on it.

7. Frazzle factor

I can deal with the organisation of raising a child e.g. costumes, presents, dental appointments without too much stress. I also enjoy time with my family and friends instead of fretting non-stop about everything that needs to be done.

“No system is perfect and ours breaks down once in a while when the adventures of life are thrown at it. But one thing makes us truly happy. When our son cries out when he has a nightmare or has fallen over, he doesn’t just call for “Mummy, Mummy”, he calls for “Mummy-Daddy, Mummy-Daddy.” To him, we’re equally present, equally important. To us, his opinion is the most important one.”

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The Bad - Losing Talented Staff

James wanted flexible working after the birth of his baby

He worked long hours for a private jet firm, but wanted more flexibility after his baby was born. While the official office hours were 9am to 6pm, in reality everyone was in the office until 8.30pm.

"If you didn't do that it was frowned upon. I was struggling," he says. He had been at the firm for four years and was one of its top sellers, so he asked for flexible working and expecting a positive response.

"I tried to talk to them several times, but it was always a blanket 'no' because they said others would want to do it too."

In the end, he quit, and now the 28-year-old works for his father's firm Bloomsbury Estates where he says he's happy to work at home on weekends to catch up from when he leaves early in the week.

Source: BBC website

Greg was on paternity leave

Greg was on 2 weeks paternity leave when he was asked to attend a work event - he explained that he couldn’t and was told he should “consider his priorities.” He did, remembered how toxic and destructive the environment was and left the business.

Better to upset your staff than consider flexibility?

“I can't work from home. I asked. I wasn't allowed a lap top so I had to reduce my hours in order to accommodate child drop off and pick up. They weren’t happy and I wasn’t happy. Hard to have a dead stop as a recruiter but when I have to leave I have to leave as I need to get the train.”

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The Ugly - Trying to Get Part Time Work

‘Phil’ tried to get part time work in SW England so that he could support his partner’s work expansion plans by taking on more of the childcare responsibilities, including looking after a boy on the autism spectrum.

He struggled badly in the recruitment process and ended up having to take a full time role.

Overqualified and bored?

Farcical the amount of times I have heard "overqualified" or "you would be bored" or "your skills wouldnt be used" in spite of yelling into peoples faces that I only wanted part time and 2 days a week would not be boring.

Could it be because you are a man?

It definitely is. One of the interviews I had I actually was told that I would probably be embarrassed being shown the systems by a 20 year old girl. "Considering my experience" 

Unconscious Bias

As a footnote, the role I secured is the 1st full time role I applied for. But that was secured through a friend in recruitment who could see off the bias before it was made...

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What do we need to do

Let’s forget the socks and real ale gift sets this year…

✅ Encourage and support dads to talk about the pressures they face.

✅ Normalise flexible and part time work for men.

✅ Senior men to lead by example - embracing flexible working opportunities - making it ok for men in the workplace to spend time with their kids.

✅ Change the working culture so that raising happy, successful children isn’t just a female thing.

Dads will be happier and more fulfilled and the opportunities for families to choose how best to arrange their working lives will increase.

Flexible Working - Not Just For Mums!

Flexible Working - Not Just For Mums!

While we're basking in a bizarre mini heatwave I noticed a pattern springing up....

But this pattern isn't bizarre, it's just reflecting the fact that GQ magazine found that the #1 aspect of modern masculinity, identified by 66% of Men was "being a present father".

The pattern I spotted was one about the normalising of flexible working for Dads.

1️⃣ The closed FB group called "Flexible Working for Mums Like Me (Dad's Welcome)" became "Flexible Working for People Like Me"

Katy Friedman said this:
"What I've since come to realise is that by limiting the group to 'mums', I was actually perpetuating the problem and that in order for women to advance in their careers flexible working needs to be a shift in the fabric of the way we work for all, not just as a perk offered to women with childcare issues."
Link to the group - Flexible Working for People Like Me

2️⃣ The founder of Mummyjobs.co.uk, Daddyjobs.co.uk & FlexIsBest.com, Cheney Hamilton, announced that from the 1st March the sites would be moving under one umbrella called - Find your Flex. 

3️⃣ The launch of workingdads.co.uk 

Why does this matter?

A new generation of dads want much more involvement in their children’s lives and they don't just want to be ‘weekend parents’.

They expect equality at home and at work.

⭐ They want to be there for the moments that matter.

⭐ They want to spend more time with their families even if means sacrificing promotion and financial rewards.

"11% have refused a new job and 10% have said no to a promotion because of a lack of good work life balanced opportunities."

Source - Working Families 2018

Not only do Dads want it...

but imagine the benefits to your life and your family's life if your partner could access the type of well paid, interesting job that she is easily capable and qualified to do. 

She has a much better chance if her commitment isn't being permanently judged through a lens of childcare expectation.

Don't believe me?.... this is a real conversation that illustrates the bs that women have to put up with

"The most memorable moment that made me stop and pay attention that perhaps I wasn’t being judged purely on my ability, was the conversation I had with the company Chairman when being considered for a promotion and he “joked” that he was only considering me because he “trusted” that I wasn’t just going to “run off and have babies anytime soon”. I was 27, engaged, and whilst not immediately planning a family, I knew it probably wasn’t too far off in my future. Yet I had to pretend that “no, no I’m a dedicated career woman, none of this baby nonsense for me” in order to pass his “test”."

Once we remove the ability of employers and society to judge which parent is most likely to request flexible working or parental leave then all options for organising our lives become possible.

So...

Your flexible working = happy Dad, heroic Father & supportive Husband

Here's a quick video of my top 3 things to consider when you are struggling with your work life balance:

Dads want to spend more with their kids.

It's a fact - working dads want to spend more time with their families...

Some of the things Dads wish Mums knew...

⭐ “That we wish we could have had more time off when our children were 1st born to spend with them rather than having to go back to work so quickly"

⭐ “Despite how much I work it honestly kills me to not be at home spending more time with them, that I wish I was home every night for a traditional supper and to tuck them into bed every single night!”

⭐ “That we hate being made out to be the second parent. We are not. We are both equal”

⭐ “We know this is rough for them, but we’re also struggling with the tremendous changes that are happening in our own way; there is no other time in our lives that we feel as vulnerable, helpless, overlooked, or unappreciated.”

And it's a well being and mental health issue

⭐“Watch out for signs of depression, men suffer with depression, anxiety, mental health issues and PND too.”

Our Mission - inspiring dads to work more flexibly to benefit everyone

Why does male work life balance matter?

Ian Dinwiddy, founder of Inspiring Dads, explains why their mission is so important (600 words)

After 7 years of management consultancy, shortly after his first child was born, Ian became a ‘Stay at Home Dad’ which he successfully mixed with freelance work and national league hockey umpiring.

In 2018 Inspiring Dads Ltd was born.

The seven-year itch then?

Management Consultancy was never going to be a great fit with our primary, family goal of one of us always ‘being there for the children’ (at time of writing - Freya 8 and Struan 5). So, I took the bit of consultancy that I loved, and retrained as a coach before discovering my niche. I realised I wanted to help and support those men whose work-life balance is causing them stress.

Why ‘men’ and why ‘work-life balance’?

Within the coaching industry you’ll find plenty of Life Coaches who specialise in working with female clients and you’ll find executive coaching designed to improve work performance.

What you won’t find is coaching and support to help men be successful at ‘life’. When men become dads, it is as much of an upheaval and an emotional and practical challenge as it is for women.

Haven’t men always been considered the ‘hunter-gatherers’?

Surveys tell us that men want to spend time with their children, but society and the workplace is conditioned to treat men as providers (and women as carers).

Men who seek to spend more time with their families are treated with suspicion and are seen as ‘not committed.’ In fact, rather than spending more time with their new families men end up working harder and longer.

Lack of good work-life balance causes massive amounts of stress and potential relationship breakdown.

Is there positive news?

The good news is that there is a whole generation of dads who understand that the old model of one parent, commonly the man, being 'all in' for work is looking increasingly old fashioned, even archaic.

What do Dads really want?

Simple really – to Be a Great Dad AND Have A Great Career.

There are 3 key elements

👉 They want to be happy and they want their families to be happy.

👉 They want to see more of their families.

👉 They want better quality time when they have it.

Flexible working has a key role to play in facilitating improved work-life balance.

Does flexible working for men matter?

It would be very easy to dismiss this as men finding out what women have known for a long time, it's hard to have it all. At Inspiring Dads we see this as an opportunity… By harnessing the energy and desire of a new generation of dads, we can design a new way of living and working and unlock profound benefits for everyone.

When men are unable to access flexible working, too often it is women who are obliged to take lower paid roles in order to gain the flexibility that they require for family childcare commitments.

This reinforces the gender pay gap that develops long before adults become parents, as assumptions about childcare and parenting responsibilities discriminate against women and trap men in the cycle of men as providers, women as carers.

What are the positives?

When men are supported and inspired to access flexible working

✅ Dads would be happier

✅ Families would be happier

✅ There would be genuine choice as to how to divide childcare responsibilities.

✅ The gender pay gap would reduce.

Your vision for the future?

Men using their power, voice and agency to seek out and achieve flexible working, normalising it for everyone.

It’s time to inspire, support and challenge Dads to make changes for everyone’s benefit.

Is Jamie Oliver really 'just' a weekend dad?

“Jamie Oliver admits he's happy being a 'weekend parent' who doesn’t see the children for five days - and says they're 'fine with it’ ”

I clicked on this article thinking 2 things…

1) It’s the Daily Mail - I’m sure to regret this.

2) I’m a bit sad for him if he is actually happy with not seeing his kids during the week.

What I found was something quite different…

‘I’m mainly a weekend parent – I will get to the key school events but I’m flat out Monday to Friday and normally see the children a couple of nights during the week. I’m happy with that, I think they are fine with it.’

This didn’t seem too bad to me.

He’s at key events and home a couple of nights a week - 2 out of 5 maybe?

I know there are other Dads out there that would kill for that sort of work life balance and flexibility and yet the Daily Mail portray his work life balance as some sort of failure.

One of the core principles in our 6 Steps to Working Dad Success programme is that communication is a vital part of Being a Great Dad AND Have a Great Career. As a family and definitely as a couple, you all need to be on the same page when it comes to work life balance.

⭐ So my top tip to Jamie Oliver is to make sure everyone is ok with it.

⭐ Make sure everyone’s needs are being met because I know that if you’re happy but your family isn’t, then you’re storing up trouble.

I’ll let ‘Toby’ tell you why.

“If there's one thing I wish we'd done better, it would have been to have those really honest discussions - rather than the more off-hand comments and observations - about the work life balance for both of us, including as a couple and as parents.

But hey - we live and learn, eh?!”

Toby and his wife are separated and to a large extent due to a failure to sort out their work life balance.

What do you think? Has Jamie Oliver got his priorities sorted out?

PS I didn’t regret reading the article, but I definitely regret seeing the comments 😒

How can you improve your Work Life Balance?

Spending time with your family is key to being the type of Dad you want to be.

You want to be there for the moments that matter, because you know you can't buy time with your kids.

Exactly how you achieve the right work life balance for you will depend on the choices and priorities that are important for you and your family.

It'll be different for everyone, but some flexible working is key to unlocking work life balance.

Achieving flexible working has the power to bring significant benefits for all of society, including your employer!  It can allow your partner to return to work and help close the gender pay gap.

You want it and the benefits are clear.

So what gets in the way?

• Fear of being seen as not 'committed'

“Twice the number of fathers compared to mothers believe flexible workers are viewed as less committed… (and) believe working flexibly will have a negative impact on their career”

Source - Working Families 2017

• Outdated assumptions about gender roles in the workplace and at home.

Mothercare, Mumsnet and Daddy Pig all reinforce the stereotype that Dads aren't equally as skilled at looking after their children.

Good news is

Things are changing...

• Men want to be involved - The Modern Families Index 2017 found that, when asked whether they would assess their childcare needs before taking a new job or promotion, 76 per cent of younger fathers said they would. =>Here

• There is general demographic shift towards having children later in life. Senior managers are more likely than their predecessors to be parents of young children, increasing the likelihood that they will promote and encourage flexible working.

Not as fast as it should...

"Workplace policies have not kept up with the social changes in people's everyday lives," according to committee chair Maria Miller, who describes "outdated assumptions" about men's and women's roles in relation to work and childcare" as a further barrier to change.

Source: House of Commons Women and Equalities Committee - Fathers and the workplace

Your action plan

• Understand what type of flexible working you want

• Understand the benefits for all parties.

• Put together a business case

By harnessing the energy and desire of a new generation of dads, we can design a new way of living and working and unlock profound benefits for everyone. 

Need some help?

Bit of a kickstart?